Heart Attack Grill

So before I go off about all the fine (or crappy) burgers I've tasted, I'd like to talk about one that I'd like to try. I happened to be reading the news a few days ago and found out that the spokesperson for Heart Attack Grill has passed. Blair River was a young fellow, only 29 years old, but he was fat as fuck. Yet ironically, the 575lb man did not die from a heart attack according to sources, but possibly from pneumonia. Let's just like to take a minute to commemorate Mr. River; I would've liked to meet him.

He's doing better than you in the girls department.

If you have ever tried to google "heart attack grill," you might be just as confused as I was and think that the "I'm feeling lucky" results have been google bombed.  The first result says "Comm Healthcare." No.... that can't be it... can it? Health? That's not what I'm looking for, you stupid search engine! I wanted a greasy, thick, fatty burger fried in lard!  Like the picture of the dream burger in my previous post (which is in fact, heart attack grill's quadruple bypass burger).  Oh wait, what's this?

Or perhaps he IS a health practitioner... 

"Dr" Jon found the Heart Attack Grill in 2005 when writing a marketing thesis about fitness studios. He became inspired by stories about his clients cheating their diets and voila! Screw fitness, everyone's gonna become a fatass anyway, so let's encourage it even more!  At this burger joint, they advertise that if you weigh over 350lb, you get to eat for free. They probably hand out way too many free burgers already, since 55% of Americans are overweight and a quarter are obese, and it is estimated by 2020 that two-thirds of the world's diseases will be noncommunicable and related to diet (Chopra et al., 2002).  


Yes, I do cite my writing and I'm not [completely] talking out of my ass.  As a nutrition major, I do fear that my probable fate will be like this once-fitness-promoting-turned-obesity-encouraging-man. I see myself giving up on humanity and succumbing to this 8000 calorie burger (which I don't think that burger actually has that much) since no one adheres to their dietitian's meal plan anyway.  Oops, it seems like the nutrition part of me is yearning to shut down this blog but hey, tasty, juicy meat will always defeat vegetables.